Drifted.
Well seems like everyone is busy with something else and I'm not.
I seemed to have lost track of days.
It says 28 nov on the calender.
Just how many days have I stopped studying? Just 14 days which felt like a month or two.
Its 9.51pm now.
What have I done today so far that is productive enough to mention? ... Time to sleep again. Sighs.
Its the 48th week of year 2011.
Mugged for 46th weeks for Os! Not so many weeks, I dont study everyday..
Trust me, I dont miss studying.
Studying to me is like a must-go-thru process, its definitely not something I like or enjoy doing but somehow a part of my life.
Its been arranged. Of course everyone thinks the same, we must all study. We dont have a choice.
I dont regret studying either for it can bring me a better future, so why not?
Gotta think far.
Wonder hows everyone doing..
I feel so apart from people now.
Will people remember the day?
Strive on!
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own.
And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go.”
Dr. Seuss
And the O level examinations are just around the corner. 13 days to theory examinations. Its really stressing me out, its like forcing myself to so something that I really don't like but for the sake of my own good. It doesn't feel like it. Its hard to persevere and focus, whats more, I give in to temptations easily, or rather distractions, time suckers. But I'm not giving up. Its dumb to give up now since I've been studying for at least 10 years, if I don't score well, I really wasted my 10 years of childhood/youth studying. I could have had a happier childhood but now I could have a better future.
(On a side note, I think having a blog is like talking to yourself. You type and you entertain yourself. Thats weirdly cool.. I feel like I'm talking to myself. Nah, just joking, its about expressing yourself and letting your emotions flow, somewhere else, in this case, its on a blog. It feels good too! Its like I own a page of my own on the web but its not really mine, its onsugar's. Hmm...)
Big bears wear sunglasses.
Well the title above has got nothing to do with my post here, it just popped up in my head several days ago and I thought I'll blog about it, just kidding! At least this cute title has to be shown...haha I have no idea why it has to be bears, they have to be big as well? It can wear anything but it chose sunglasses? Thats...oh well, lets come back to the point..
Well, prelims are over! <----- Wait, whats there to be happy about, its not even the real thing! I didnt yay.
Today's prac exam was far by the most disastrous one. Physics was fine, problem was with chem.
So we're all supposed to shake the solution in the boiling tube with the rubber stopper in place. Never in my life did I know that the reaction was quite a violent one. The gas couldnt withstand the pressure inside and everything went popping, splashing out everywhere. Stopper flew in front of me, drops of chemicals on the table, not sparing my face and hands either.
Who cares about the mess on the table then! My face comes first! So I dropped everything and washed my face immediately. I thought it could have disfigured me, I'm glad I'm not and it was not acidic or what... Thank God!
I wrote crap on the paper after that. :/
Most should have known that I'm taking combined science now. Yeah, I dropped pure sciences. I feel awkward taking it cuz I'm the only exception in my class...
But I made the right choice, I'm sure, or I'll be struggling with pure now. It doesnt mean I'm stupid or what. Maybe I did give up but I'd rather be realistic. Things that I do not have a wee bit of interest in, why waste my time on it? My time could be better spent on things that are taking me further. And I can be sure, science isnt the path I'm going to take in life, I'm not going to venture into science. People always say, persevere, strive on, you have to believe in yourself that you can do better and work hard at it, if not, you're a real failure. Thats definitely true. I'm not against that. But sometimes you have to consider where you stand now, the circumstances around you and make the right choice, whether you want to continue with it or just take another path, it could be a better path. Miracles do happen, I believe in that. But once again, consider the possibility. Well, its a choice. Maybe I'm a failure but I dont think I am, I wont let myself sink further. C.S is a better choice for me.
Nevermind, you might not agree with it, but everyone thinks differently, thats all I can say. But tomorrow will be a better day!
I'm getting a new headstart later! As you can see, HEADstart hahaha yes I'm getting a haircut. I guess I need to chop it off so I can feel a fresh beginning! Maybe a bob? Hahaha nah, just kidding.
Ohyeah, I cabbed down to school today, for the first time. Such a waste of money but speedy!
Thats about it, bye for now :D
Bear!
No not a bear.
Bear!
Looks interestingly weird though, apparently its photoshopped.
(Hmm, not funny.. Forgive me for being...you know..)
Pictures from google.com. Yay!
I yay-ed.
As b. as ever.
As b. as ever?
b's for bored actually. Yeah, I'm really b.
I decided to take a day off from my studies today and relax as much as I can. So, for this day, what have I done?
Nothing great, just returning home after lunch, used the internet, found some essays to read on, slept, ate, watched tv and now here I am! Again.. And I just realise I dont have anything to do, so how am I even going to survive after 'O's when I'm already like that before 'O's. So I came up with a list of the what-to-do-s list for myself after 'O's so as to not waste this long holiday!
So here it goes!
1) Right after the last paper - rush home and clear all books and piles of papers that have been taking up a huge space on my table for so many months. Tear up some papers and sell the rest or burn them hahaha
2) More outings with friends and family - shopping and food! I'll make sure I dont eat until I can roll. (Umm...get it?)
3) Travelling!! This is a definite must thing! Or go on a cruise. So where to? Not even confirmed if I can go overseas yet...
4) Working...maybe...
5) Get myself a keyboard piano. :D
6) Renew myself, both inner and outer wellbeing - do some self-reflections, fight for what I think is right, and take more notice of my outer appearance. Maybe a change of hairstyle? Hmm...
7) Do something special for my family, be a better daughter.
Thats pretty much about it. Well, plans never actually work. But yeah, these are some things that I'll do.
My blog is kinda boring right?
Well, just you wait, I'll spice up my blog after 'O's hahaha I cant wait for 'O's to be over and real holidays to come. Waiting is an emotional struggle.
Out of b.om
Okay, bye! Oh well, its september holidays now.. = studying. Oh well..
I can't help but feel everything is so hopeless now. Nobody wants this but it somehow led to the things as they are today.
How, why, where, when, what, who.
Maybe my thoughts are right, well, people say a girl's intuition is always/somehow right. Just that they havent been stamped on and confirmed. What has this become?
Things arent supposed to be the way they are now. Whats worse, you didnt even try to salvage it. Probably if you did, it would have been better. Life would have been easier and happier?
I feel pathetic. What am I really thinking or doing?
This is getting nowhere.